The Big Bang Theory.... on how my blog came to exist.... not the ENTIRE universe, this I will however, try prove in the process................ or not.
Ok, so I recently broke up with my boyfriend of la la years and dud months, to realize….. MUST WRITE BLOG NOW…… just throw down all the thoughts, delusions and misfortune that follows me through the "Lonely years", after which I will die at around age 60… with cats…. wait I am more of a dog person……. cats it is, coz I never get what I want…..
Which brings me to chronicle 1, the unfortunate times of MY JOB, MY CAREER, MY BLEUGNESS. Love and loathe the blasted thing, but just cant seem to get a tight enough grasp on it to make it listen to me, the next pet I am getting will be named JOB, yes, and it will do PRECISELY as I say, NOT the other way around.
It is funny how when you offer a client a service, and not a physical actual OBJECT, that they can eat, snort or make calls from, INSTANTLY, the whole of Joburg and their Aunties want everything for free.
LIKE HELLO….. a girl (recent relationship evictee) yours truly, has got to eat, well not for the next 3 months until the heart strings are kind of mended, but at some point this year….(preferably before the 3 month "mending" period, I'm STARVING).
Me - "Give me details on what service out of our MANY options you require, then we can discuss budget and get a quote to you ASAP"…… Silence on the other end…. "excuse me, Mrs Tight Fist, are you there?" "Hello"….. "Oh sorry I was under the impression you work ''PRO BONO" (Lawyers terms for FREE… he he always wanted to say that) Well I am no Lawyer Lady, and by the time this call is done, I will most probably need one…. I don't think the kind of profanities I was 'neatly packaging, post dating and sending' at her through the handset ,of my amazing BB, were legal, well, NOWHERE!. I really don't see how people and their minds work, or don't in this case, really now….
"Just to let you know, on acceptance of this job, you will be remunerated (fancy word for 'pay') in 'BEEP Product.'" so I say "Oh no worries TOTALLY RAD, I am sure Vodacom and my insurers would love to be paid in your marvelous 'BEEP Product, it is such a lovely product, you should 'pay' us more often with this delightful life enhancing……STUPID PRODUCT."
Its ok, I live solely off oxygen and CO2 emissions, run my car off H2O and I trade the Head of my medical aid scheme a Sunday trip to his mothers old age home to read to her, in turn for my Hospital Plan and Medical benefits… it works out quite nicely. I just wish he had more mothers……
HMPH......
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