Good Mourning (???)

HangOVER and heart not so OVER… not an awesome combination at all……

This is dedicated to my home girl OMAN…..
Out on the jol, dressed to the 10's never mind 9's, ready to consume our body mass in tequila and conquer… the dance floor…..

Step 1: Spontaneous night out decision is made
Step 2: Super mad rush to get ready
Step 3: 5 outfits on the floor later
Step 4: Lipgloss
Step 5: Ready
Step 6: Barbie Mobile
Step 7: Tunage and super Jammage
Step 8: High way
Step 9: CLUB
Step 10: Awesome.

Club.
We find a couple of her mates sitting in a  rather suspicious corner being their normal and conservative selves.. uptight and MONO! (Monotone if you don't speak barbie.)
Now at this point I am ready to slash my wrists and the wrists of the guy to the left of me, and his left, and his left again, but I didnt want to get blood on my home girls ankle BOOTS. I am now at this point so liquored up…(Tea pot at Primi at lunch, and about 3-4 glasses of wine with the Joneses(Oman and Omammy) at dinner) all I wanted was my EX boyfriend and to dance….
I opted for the possible, close choice… not the impossible, far, highly unlikely, silly choice. (not so silly at the time I promise)

So… Off I stride to the dance floor to let rip, my multi layered wafer mind thinking of all sorts…. 'sore feet, booze, tequila, what is my ex doing right now, oh there goes a hottie, EEEEEEEEEW lying. what was I thinking there, something is stuck to my foot, aaaah I love this song, when can I go home, where am I again and why am I here, WOW tonight is so rad!' I could go on, but I will spare you my daily thought process….. I continue on. Dance, dance, think…. think…… dance.. think, think, think…

Eventually the threesome, (3 of the Monos) crawl out of the wood work… with a bottle of Pongraz. I look on in delight… (BAD IDEA)
We hold our own for a while a continue jamming to the beat of our hearts, oh wait, erm, I meant the dj's, when suddenly the one Mono pops up from NOWHERE and forces our mouths open and starts lugging the champers down our gullets……

WOW

Talk about taken by surprise. PONGRAZ in Face…. Abort, Abort….. (!!!)

By this point Oman is highly annoyed and irritated with this, normally, suit and tie kinda guy attitude, and passes a sly comment so only i can hear…. something like "Damn Jeremy, always going just that little bit to far to prove something, why cant he just buy a bottle of JC Le Roux and sip it out a straw like ANY other NORMAL person at a club would do????'

I giggled and carried on dancing, me and my million and one thoughts.

The evening progressed from sore feet to, "I can hardly move but I am going to drink and dance through the pain" BOY oh boy, wait, sorry, I mean, Girl oh Girl did I regret that alcohol induced thought process this scorning, sorry I mean MORNING.

(A few hours go by while writing….. I got bored)

OK, so back to my story.

The night goes on, we make friends, and we break friends… or potential friend wanna be-ers….

We LEAVE the club and crab walk/stumble to the car, trashed and LOVING life, to find the comforting face of our "Good Fellows" driver Mike, with a GIANT welcoming smile on his face. If only I could explain the pure delight of seeing  just teeth as you walk into the pitch black night. ha ha. He was here to drive us to safety and end our evening off perfectly, knowing we wont be stopped by Mento Po-Po and have to cry ourselves out of jail. He made me just want to hug him. What a treat! bwhahaaaa.

By the time we were half way home, I was getting vertically acquainted with the back seat, dosing off to the sounds of Oman, who was perched on the front seat like a 4 year old with candy (Ha ha) giving Mike the 411. It was like a grilling session reminiscent of something you would experience while watching a military film of sorts.
"whats the coolest car you have ever driven? where are you from? do you have children? how many? what is your moms name? do you like cats, I like cats, do you like cats? how many people do you pick up per night, do you eat peas? has anyone ever vomited while you have been driving?"

I swear I was laughing SOOO hard in my docile state, my whole body was practically jerking.

We arrive home. Oman promptly thanking our Nigerian Knight of the Night PROFUSELY for his friendly professional manner. She was practically bowing she was so grateful. (Love her when she is pissed)
Trying to walk quietly is almost impossible in clomping heels with sore feet. We giggled and jiggled down the driveway and tried to make it up the stairs to the kitchen door, when BAM, like magic, there stands Omammy, on top of things as usual, already with the door wide open, as well as her arms, for a drunken hello-good-night-love-you-sleep-well-hug. The best kind when you are drunk, missing someone, nearly falling over and in need of some comfort.

We lay in bed giggling for a good hour. The conversation went a little something like this..
Me: BLAH bLAH BlAh… ha aha haahahaha HAHAAHAHA
O: SHHHHHHH la.
Me: SORRY, oh um sorry (tried to whisper…. i am useless at it)
O: LA SHHHHHHHHHHH….
Me: BLAH BLAH BLAH, sorry, whisper whisper whisper whISPER, BLah blah BLAHHHHHHH.

We went back and forth like this for a good 20 minutes.

Ha ha, I am so useless at keeping it down… it is a gene I do NOT posses!!

Sorry OMAMMY… Oman's Mom. Who probably heard every word of our conversation.

You will never guess what happened next....

We Slept. NO WAY.

4.30am - estimated time of pass out.
8.30am - estimated time of resurfacing from deep slumber.

How fun… so not fun, so so so not fun (!!!!!!!)

So we woke up to a glass each of orange juice and the smell of eggy toast and crumpets in the air (Yum) Love Omammy.

Dragging ourselves off the mattress we had been dead to the world on(for the last 4 hours), we shuffled, heads down, like two naughty school girls to the dining room for some breakers and catch up convo.

Breakfast conversation topic….. "How were the MONO's?" set by Omammy.

We gasped and giggled, and giggled and gasped at the rehashing of the the bits and pieces we could constructively piece together and the vague memories that were not stolen by the tequila fairy and his best friend Vodka troll.

Now this is just where I was overs….. as we sat talking and filling Omammy in on the whose who and the what where and how, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, Oman pipes up… 'you know, I just wanted to take that Pongraz bottle out of Jeremys hand and hit him on the head with it - he is so full of himself Mom'

BWAHHHHHAAAAAA. Just the way she said it, we have a very similar sense of  humor, and way of speaking, and are rather random most times. But this particular comment just threw me off the edge. There were pieces of scrambled egg flying out my nose. I could not contain my laughter, never mind my eggy toast, as you may have noticed.

That was probably where my day took a turn, and nothing, no matter how significant, would possibly come close to that euphoric feeling of absolute laughter from the pit that morning and the night before. Thats probably what happened, the "too much fun from the night before", and the constant laughter, must have activated the pit from its temporal dormant state, and I spent the rest of the day trying to fight off my horrendous LC (Loser Complex) with rescue and red grapetizer. well it didn't work. So here I am again, writing… thinking ALOT and alone, with my thoughts… eek (!!!)

When did it all go so wrong?

What a come down.

Thanks Oman and Omammy for a RAD Saturday, and for getting me out the house and looking Jshoojsh (that sound we make when we looking saxy and hot)

PS: Fishpaste is a Party Pony, you should have seen her. GETTING OUT OF HAND I tell you (out of hand action)

Bean.